Whoa, I just had this excessive feeling of excitement...maybe something good is going to happen today! Ooooh, wouldn't that be nice? I was gonna say so much other stuff today, but unfortunatley I can't. Cuz some people don't know stuff and if I said stuff it would be very bad and then they would know stuff (if I haven't told you stuff it's NOT cuz I don't trust you-please don't think that-but I do have a very valid reason for not telling you...don't hate me, I'll tell you someday and then you'lll know why I couldn't tell in the first place). And remember, we haven't decided whether the 'pros' outweigh the cons in that situation or vice-versa. Therefore I cannot say the many things that I wish to say and therefore I have to keep thinking about it and thefore I have some issues with being joyful right now. And in conlusion, based on the information I have just given you, I need some more chocolate (covered cranberries-because they make me really happy and hyper, etc.) but I resolved that I shall not leave an empty bag in the garbage bin for mom to find this time. So...if anyone wants to give me some free ones I shall not stop you and will thank you endlessly should you choose to do so.

And yet again, wiggly horse lip lady (you may know her as Arwen) who wasn't even supposed to be in the trilogy till the very end has taken up approximately half the trailer. But meh...finally, after a year of waiting we see the evility that is Shelob. YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!! I wanna see the movie so badly now...what am I gonna do until then? OH, never mind, I've got other things to worry about...but I still wanna see it! Going on opening night...don't care if I have to wait 3 hours (last time 2 was sufficient, but I think this time earlier is called for). So I think you should all come with me so we can share the joy that is Lord of the Rings. Oh yeeeeeeeeah! I'm gonna go watch the trailer again now, scuse me.

In the process of downloading the full screen version of the Return of the King trailer. Waiting with great anticipation. Also eating lunch (consisting of cereal...best lunch ever). Today was a good day. Except I think I might've been WAY too quiet during our presentation in English. Oh well, all I had to say was boring stuff anyway. K, the best line in Hamlet is when a person (not revealing who, I wouldn't want to ruin anything for everyone who hasn't read this far yet) says "Oh, I am slain." LOL, that was so great, and it's even better when you've go tthe totally wrong emotion going on at the time that you say it. Oh yeeah...the shirt. ;) Today was definately a good day. :D

Can you help me find a way to carry on again? I think I need more chocolate covered cranberries...but I can't finish the bag cuz then mom'll be VERY displeased with me. I guess I'll just have to think of the eyes...

School is stupid...too much homework. And I really dn't know what else to say besides that my gums (good thing I read this over cuz I wrote it as my GUS hurts before) hurt from the dentist. And I miss people. And their eyes. But the people come first. And, yeh, today was a good day except that I have Chem. later and I now have to work on my Bio. But all in all, today was a good day, it woulda been better if it had been a day two, but at least tomorrow will have some excellentness that way. Ok, my dad is listening to the most gorgeous music, it's all spanish guitar lovliness with wave sounds and bird sounds in the background. And it's all slow and pretty...perfect sunset music (NOT sunrise music). I mean, I don't usually like music without words...but this stuff is just so...mmmmm.

MSN fixed itself, I'm better now. I worked on homework way too much today. And I'm still not done my bio. lab OR my chem. lab. Stupid labs.

You guys, I ran the blue hair idea past mom...she really doesn't agree with it. And if she doesn't agree with it then you can bet that dad isn't gonna either. So alas, it looks like red is gonna be what's happening next for my hair (next being next time I have money to spare which could be a LONG time considering that I am still in debt-almost out of it-from my cd player, and need money to buy everyone christmas presents and need money to buy my LOTR ticket for December 17th). So yeah, that's pretty much the plan for the hair so now the poll is leaving, thank you all for your precious votes. :D You guys'll have to come help me pick a colour one of those days in the extremely distant future when I have money again. (I really have tons of money, but it's staying unscathed in my bank account entitled 'ENGLAND'-it really is titled that, it says so on my bank statement, isn't that totally oorsome? ;) I need that precious money for the 2-evil-roundtrip tix that I gotta buy.)

K, this microorganisms textbook is WAY too detailed than what I need. Who needs to know the gastrointestinal contents of a Guinea Pig? Jeepers, this just makes me want to go to university SO badly, my staying in Scotland as a bench sleeper, digging through garbage cans lady sounds much better. I mean, at least then I get to be in Scotland. Alas...at least I get to go there for my tiny amount of time next year! K, funniest thing ever. Mom is talking to her friend on the phone and they were talking about me going to England next year. And then apparently her friend said something about me finding a Scottish man with an kilt (cuz we all know they wear kilts ALL the time ;) )...and then mom told me to MAKE SURE that he's wearing shorts underneath. She is condoning my looking under some guys kilt? HaHA, that is tres amusant.

And now I'm done my English, wasn't that quick? So great, less than an hour to get there, plan, and rollerblade home. But then I came on MSN, and that ruined everything. Oh well, I'm gonna use a cliche and say 'the best is yet to come.' Which hopefully means that the worst is over.

Nothing really to write today, except I have to work on stupid English later. And no one's on MSN, to my great disturbament (I don't care that that's not a word, it suits my purpose!) Oh, and I watched the trailer for the last Matrix (revolution) movie...looks pretty cool. And 'THE RETURN OF THE KING' trailer comes out on Monday! Excellent, gonna have to permanently download that one. :D AND the bank finally got over its dumbness and £400 have been taken out of my RESP! Excellent! :D

Holes is SUCH a good movie. It's so funny, LOL!!!!! And the main guy has curly hair, I mean, the only thing better would be a Scottish guy with curly hair (except the one formerly known as Gus who has the most gorgeous eyes in the universe and who I should be revealing-to him-one of these days, but I'm much much MUCH too scared). I'm a fire burning at these mysteries. You guys, I just had this super appealing idea. Let's all go sit in the middle of nowhere under an absolutely gorgeous, humungous tree, in fall so there are leaves on the ground but not so late in fall that there are no leaves on the tree...and have a picnic. Doesn't that sound insanely wonderful? OH MY GOODNESS!!! We SO have to do that. And then after, we can sit and tell funny stories and laugh our heads off. Isn't that a totally awesome idea? I mean, just picture that setting...you guys...I seriously wanna do that (at least the picnic under the gorgeous tree part). I cannot convey to you over the internet how much I wanna do that. That would be the ultimate experience of wonder...it's now my second dream. (I used to have 2 dreams too, one came true so now I'm still waiting on the other and have just now added a new one to the list. ;D) Here I am, here I am, won't you get me??? I fear all of these monstrosities inside. Anyway, LUV you all and don't forget...to eat your vitamins for breakfast. ;)
P.S. Have you ever tried typing fast enough to keep up with the lyrics of a song as it's playing? It's so much fun, you never know how very fast you can type until you try. Check out the words under the heading 'The Chancellor of Indosia says:", it's lovely (I think that's where I'm supposed to write a description of my blog). Switchfoot has such good lyrics.

I don't know what to say. Cuz what I WANT to say is completely different than what I CAN say, cuz you know...secrets...that are stupid...grrr. But anyway, today was an absolutely lovely day, perfectly lovely. Yes, it was. Absoutely. (In case you think this is sounding slightly sarcastic, you are WRONG, cuz it totally was awesome!) I could, say, announce all the goodness. But that would just bore you all, and I wouldn't want that. There's just one measly little thing that I'd like to say...and I CAN'T SAY IT!!!!!! I get to watch 'Holes' today FINALLY, I've wanted to see it since it came out in theatres and now...I get to see it! What joy. It better be good, but apparently the songs are good, so even if the movie's bad it won't be a total loss. And now wanting to say more stuff that I can't say. This is getting really annoying, I can't even live out my joy to its fullest. Alas.

K, do you KNOW how incredibly bored I was in Chem today? I mean, I'm grateful that it's so easy that I pretty much never have to pay attention (we learned most of this stuff in grade 9, and the stuff we didn't learn is still so easy!), but today it just dragged (is that a word? it sounds very wrong) on by at the pace of a dead log-I know that logs in all their glory are never really alive (because when they're trees they're not called logs), but that's not the point I'm trying to make here. Although, judging by my excessive use of 'brackets' (they're actually parentheses if my memory serves me correctly) my point should be that it is essential to life that you use as many parentheses as possible in one paragraph that should really be a whole bunch of paragraphs because I changed the topic of it so many times. ANYWAY! My teacher (did I mention that he's Scottish?-ooh, I just killed a fly...no, that has nothing to do with my chem teacher) explains things super well, the problem is I don't need them explained. Cuz multiplying and dividing is just SO hard guys. Honestly. But not really honestly cuz it's really quite easy which he can't seem to get through his thick Scottish skull. But I guess most of the other people need it to be explained, so I have to sit through the agony of it all and recall every single conversation I've ever had in the meantime. But that's ok, I remember things you would never imagine I could remember that way. Muahahahahaha! Blackmail....but I'd never blackmail you...unless you did something REALLY inexcusable, then I might, but I probably wouldn't cuz I'm not quite that evil.

That was very wierd.

I'm better now and perfectly cheerful again. My fears were dashed, or roasted...but yeah, it's great. I feel so light-hearted now! Yahar, go me!

Note to Lo (but you can all read it): If you said anything important in Bio, you're gonna have to repeat it cuz I was rather distressed (talk to me for further deets, but you may not get any...so be warned!)
Note to Da (you can all read this one too): Is Beijing City (the restaurant) by (as in near) your house?
And now on to the real blogging. Is it normal to feel joyful yet be completely despairing at the same time? Cuz that's what's up with me right now. Yeah, so today was an excellent day (English was so great!), until along came Bio. and...stuff...and then the beginning of Lo and Da's Social class. And now, I'm home once again, wasting my life away on the computer (but I must admit that it's a fun waste! :D ).

Today was such a good day!!!!!!!! And I got ALL my homework done!!!!!! Yeehaw (scuse the cowboy language)!!!!!!!! And, I really should be getting to sleep considering that, in the absence of my lovely day 1 spare, I don't get to sleep in tomorrow. Alas, instead I have to find out what I 'achieved' on my social exam. I don't know if my mark will be considered an achievement. And I really hope we had no English homework for tomorrow, cuz I did NONE!!!!!

Guess what???????!! Today, for the first time in who knows how LONG I am happy happy happy! And I didn't CHOOSE to be happy, it does work it's just I don't usually have the energy for it. So yeah, I walked home and that was exciting, I said hi to a gajillion people that I passed. And now I'm eating ice cream...I LOVE ice cream!!!!! MMMmmmmmm...and I'm gonna do all my homework before everyone gets home from school cuz I'm a nerd. But I'm a happy nerd!!! YAY!!!!!!! Spectacular, the lovely sad song isn't even depressing me. I wonder what's wrong...oh well, it's excellent! Oh, and I can't decide what colour to dye my hair, so I (being a complete insane wierdo) created a lovely little poll for you all to vote on (please be realistic-why I didn't add orange to the list). So please vote, maybe it'll be my LAST request of all time! :D Whoa, I posted at the EXACT same time today as I did yesterday! Coincidence? I think not...

:: SOB ::

Today I got to use a pitch-fork...that was fun, but I only got to pitch the mulch from the back of the truck to the wheelbarrow and then wheel that barrow to the place that dad needed it. Oh, and I got to pitch the mulch from the front of the truck (the back of the box? Where the box meets the cab anyway) to the back of the truck (where the tailgate is). So yeah, that was exciting.

I must admit, I had second thoughts about telling today (maybe he already knows and isn't letting on cuz he's afraid I'll 'expect' something, which I don't cuz that'd be stupid). It was a good day, I even saw someone before I left (it was the craziest ironic thing ever). But, upon arriving home I discovered that I've gotta tell, cuz I don't want to feel like this every time I'm at home. I figure that if I tell him and he never speaks to me again or hates me forever (I don't think he would do this, he's such a nice guy), I'll be incredibly sad but I'll know that it never woulda worked anyway. And then, if he just says, 'sorry I don't want you' then that'll be ok too cuz I'll know there's no hope and therefore will be able to get over it (at least I'm hoping that'll be the case). And then, if I tell him and he says 'I'm so glad you told me, I've loved you forever, now I can be a gentleman and stop your sorrow! (We're getting to the highly improbable events here) Blah blah blah blah, then I'll be super happy and never be depressed again. And that's my logic for telling. Now if only I could talk to him...

:: Sigh :: I'm jealous of you (meaning anyone I think has more chance than me, which is anyone...although as to whether anyone has a chance at all is beyond me), and I feel horrible (partially because I'm jealous of you). But I'm always overshadowed by the awesomeness of my friends, so maybe you can understand? It's sad, very sad. Pity partay! No, on second thought let's not have one of those. Guess what font this is? I picked it for a specific reason (other than the fact that it looks awesome). Yeah, dunno why I told you that. Oh well! Death to me anyway.

This is the closest song I've ever found to how I feel...minus a few parts which I have deleted.

...
You turn the tv on
And tune me out again

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me
You could ask anything
I wouldn't lie
But you're okay with this
Damaging awkwardness
So I'll just play it safe
And keep it inside
'Cause boys don't cry

...
But now even when you're near
I've never felt so alone

If you just stand beside me
I'll keep you in my life
Tell me how much you love me
And I'll be just fine
Don't be afraid of me
...

Advice that everyone (including myself) should follow:
'Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel about them because even though it may turn out exactly opposite of how you wanted, there is a chance that it will turn out the way you DID want it to and if you never tell you'll never know.'
What I(being an idiot) do:
'Always be so frickin afraid to tell someone how you feel about them (in fear that they'll reject you) that you fall into months of depression.'
Yeah, so I would advise you NOT to follow what I do, cause it really is crappy. So I'm thinking maybe I should tell, guys. What'd'ya think? But I'm still too scared cuz I don't want to ruin the 'ness' that's already there (that's assuming). Help! Of course, he may already know 'who' he is judging by my apparent obviousness, cuz he IS everyone's first guess. I hate being obvious. AAARRRRGGGGG!

Don't let me forget to bring the gumball machine and the mini christmas tree to school tomorrow. Thank you, good night!

K, you know what's stupid? Not only did the Americans (I have nothing against them in general, but sometimes the things some of them do are just unacceptable, which is the case for all people so I'm not discriminating!) horrible-ize the Harry Potter covers AND the title of the first book, they did both to the 'His Dark Materials' books too! They re-name the first book from 'The Northern Lights' to 'The Golden Compass'-it's not even a compass you dummies, it's an alethiometer. And for Harry Potter they changed it from 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' to 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'-if they were smart, they would leave it as the Philosopher's Stone cuz that's actually what it is as it was actually something alchemists tried to make ages ago (who knows, maybe someone is still trying), NOT a sorcerer's stone! And then the American covers of both series' are absolutely horrible compared to the good ol' UK ones. Jeepers, why can't the publishers just leave something good for what it is??? Yeah, so that was my anti-American-publishing of Fantasy books spiel for the day, I hope you enjoyed and maybe learned something. Yeah, I should get back to my homework, I was looking for a knife pic for my title page and dicovered all these American oddities along the way, so, yeah...see ya. :)

Today...is a day. Maybe a relatively good day even (for me a good day is quite different than what you may think). Right now I'm learning about MLA and APA documentation style from Christie's little book, it's pretty boring. I hope we go to Roger's later, that might prove to add a little bit of better feelings to my day. That would be nice. But it didn't rain and that's NOT nice. The sky is so bright and cheery and blue, I wish I could match it. But whatever, toady is WAY better than yesterday already, so I'm thinking my choices may levitate towards happiness! Boys Don't Cry (Plumb) is a really pretty song (it grew on me after two auditory bombardments) and Chem 30 is stupid. But at least it's pretty easy so far and my teacher is Scottish. Yeh, I really need to work on my English questions and study for Social now. Stupid school.
Capernwray countdown: 1 year, 4 days

Grrr...stupid chem. The teacher didn't even teach us this crappy stuff. I'll let him off cuz he's Scottish, but if I fail on this stupid worksheet he'll have a very unhappy person sitting in the second from the front desk! Not like that will really affect him, but you know, maybe he'll have sympathy and give me 100%. That'd be nice. ;) Did it rain? Maybe it will tomorrow, that'd be aweful nice. :: sigh ::

K, I just totally screwed with the HTML codes on the page, so please gimme some feedback if it's a total eyesore now. Thanks. :) I'm so proud of myself, I figured out how to modify the code (not like it's that hard as all you computer genius' probably discovered ages ago), and it totally did what I told it to do. Yay! A small bit of joy in my rainless day. If you look at Da's blog you will find out how much I changed mine, cuz it used to look exactly like hers (except the words were slightly different). I loved my beautiful blog of before, but now it's my very own! Yay! I dunno why I added a hit counter to my site, it's kindof pointless considering the minimal amount of people that will ever visit my blog, but whatever, it's a fire-breathing dragon. ( I had a dragon before but I recieved complaints because it was the Dragon Ball Z dragon - I did not know that, it's not my fault!)

It should rain, I'm in a rainy mood and would like to go soak some issues away, but showers do not have the same issue soaking abilities of a rain-storm, thus rain is essential. Give me some rain, I'm feeling down. I have been dissapointed today, I have felt hopeless, I have felt depressed, I have felt like crap (today I didn't have the energy to choose to be happy cuz there's no one here to be happy for ). I now feel a bit better because of some encouraging choice words from an unexpected individual, but the rain will help me soak some stuff away. So, don't wish for the rain to come another day, wish for it today...for me?

I want summer back, people are so much more talkative duing the summer. Have you ever felt completely alone? Even if you're talking to someone awesome? Even if you're WITH someone awesome? That's how I feel. Loneliness is worse than depression in my opinion. But, I've never been what most would call REALLY depressed, so I guess my opinion isn't worth much. Well, it isn't really in ANY matter, so there we go. It also feels like a rainy day...all grey, melancholic; reminiscing all the good times (that's not just me, right?). All I need is the rain (you guys, it rained for me last night...I could hear it through my open window...it was SO lovely, I want some more), but if it rained I would be ecstatic cuz I LOVE rain so much! So, rain should come. :D

Stuff from my other blog which chose to be stupid so now I'm re-publishing it here:
That was tha scariest walk home EVER! This one car stopped right behind me and I was just pretending to not care and nonchalantly keep walking. But it was freaky. And it was dark, and the shadows...it's much more fun with friends let me tell ya'. It's very odd, it seems that lots of people know who 'Gus' was...but I never told them. And people keep making perfect guesses...I wasn't that obvious was I? I hope not, I'd hate to have been obvious, totally make me seem like a stupid girl with a crush...how horrid. :: shudder :: Although I guess that's really what I was...I can't believe I'm admitting that...I sound like such a...I dunno, freakish popular cheerleading girl or something. :: blech :: Sorry, that was a bad steryotype. Except freakish popular cheerleading girls wouldn't have to worry as much about their former crush (or not so former crush) finding out cuz I'm sure it'd be a kindof ritual let's go out with the last guy that I haven't gone out with yet type of thing. And they'd have a lot less rejection fear, cuz you know, they probly have more non-rejection aura about them or something. Sorry, more bad stereotyping.


Some ponderous thoughts for the day...feel free to answer, I'd really like to know. :D

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Thot this was funny...so enjoy the lovely steryotypical joke of the day. :)

A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body
hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so" the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."


What would you say to me if you could talk to me? Would you come visit me if I was ever in the hospital? Would you come to my funeral? Would you visit me if I was lonely? Would you rescue me if I were dying? (Would you wear the shirt again? Hahahahahahahaha! I bet you wouldn't...neway). Well, I would do it for you, and as for what would I say? It all depends on the person...and whether I could be completely honest. Anyway, that was wierd, dunno why I wrote that. Oh well, no one reads this or answers my questions anyway (although I wish you would), so I don't have to worry. Except I wouldn't want to put you through the boredom of reading this... never mind. Hold on a sec, I've got to ward off some depressing feelings coming up...I think I got it. Happy again..for a while neway! :D I never had to CHOOSE to be happy before, you used to be hard-pressed to find someone as perfectly happy as me. But now...grrrr...but really I'm still happy, I just have to get out the stuff that I think about every once in a while.

Today I say lots of hot yellow things. Like (but not limited to)that bug remover sign and those two trucks. And I sang along to songs on the bus, luckily it was too loud for anyone to hear me. And I had a joyful day. My heart is now living in my big toe (it sunk several levels this week, but I'm still happy for some odd reason), perhaps that's why my toe hurts, the skin can't stretch fast enough to accomodate the fist-sized heart (sorry if that was a little too graphic for ya :) ). Anyway, I wanna go canoeing. I don't know why, I'd rather go dingying but that seems to be ruled out. Hmmm, I'm bored. Usual way of things, that is. Anyway, I'm gonna go find funny names on the map again now (I spent hours doing that yesterday), it was good joy, that was.

Today is a stupid day...I forget every single textbook that I 'own' at school. And Bacillus subtilis is the most crappy bacteria around. I mean, there's like no information on it (except maybe in the mondo textbook that I conveniently forgot to bring home), so I had to resort to Christie's Oxford Dictionary of Biology and her 9th Edition 'Biology of Microorganisms' textbook from her microbiology course last semester. How evil is that? Give us a bacteria you don't even learn about till 2nd year university! Grrrrrr!