I'm not actually feeling this way, but I can SO relate to this ('this' being the lyrics I'm going to spout in the near future). Evanescence is so very efficient in having REAL lyrics. That actually mean something. It's great, I don't usually care what the lyrics are as long as the musicality is good. But Evanescence has both and it's wonderful. Especially when you're depressed and you can find something to relate to. "These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you'd cry I'd wipe away all your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears." You know, sadness is kindof a nice feeling sometimes. (You can tell me I'm screwed up for thinking this way, but at least I'm thinking for myself for once, it's really quite nice when no one has influence over your thoughts and you can realize that the things you're thinking are actually your OWN and not just something brought about by what other people think you should think.) It just feels really peaceful on occasion...I say sadness NOT depression. Depression just plain sucks. But sadness...this is gonna sound depressing, crazy, or something...but it really makes me feel peaceful (one of those times when dying would be lovely, not because you want to escape the ickyness of everything but because everything is just so perfect, why wait for it to get bad again? It'd be such an opportune time to die when you're peaceful, you just get this feeling-ahhh, it's so great). I think it's because when you're sad you can actually feel all your feelings (duh), you can feel the crushing of something inside you and no matter how horrid that sounds, being able to feel it all makes life worth living (which really contradicts my previous thought, but sorry this is the way my screwed brain works). Maybe because it brings about hope-another wonderful feeling-or maybe because it just feels so right. I dunno, maybe I just need sleep but I always feel so...elevated when I'm sad (you guys are probably thinking that I need some serious therapy right now, but meh, I don't). If it's possible, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Maybe I should find some other words (than sad and happy) to describe it, maybe I should analyze how happy and sad can happen at the same time. But then again maybe I shouldn't because when I start writing out my 'deep' thoughts I just sound like an idiot (not to mention people start thinking I should be put in a mental institution or something), I should leave it to the experts. But the experts never talk about what I think, so I guess I'll just keep rambling into space (where is the internet anyway?) perhaps solving things or having revelations along the way. More likely I won't, but maybe you will. If you read this far, but obviously if you're reading that you did. So thanks, you're so special. Love you. (((hugs)))